What I Believed BEFORE I Decided to Protect My Heart
A Reflective Writing
Prompt from Wildwood Writer
I have almost always been one to care so deeply about others. Their needs had always come first. Whether it be my late mom, my wife, my kids, the community, the school kids that I work with, I’ve almost always put the needs of others before my own.
You wanted to go somewhere, Mark was there. You wanted to get something from the store, Mark will get it on the way home. You needed a volunteer for some community organization, let’s ask Mark, because he’ll do ANYTHING for his kids’ benefit.
And while none of those things are bad on the surface, never saying “no” over all these years has taken its toll on me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m never going to help others (particularly my own family). The key for me has finally realizing that if I don’t take care of my own self better, there would be nothing left of me to actually help others when I actually want to.
So, about a month or so ago, I began making conscious efforts to start doing things for myself first…I mean, REALLY focusing on myself. So, here are two things that I’ve done to begin working on ME more:
Write and read more, and try to make a real effort to connect more with other fellow writers. Substack has been GREAT therapy for me from the beginning.
I’ve found myself reading more as a result, and I actually got through a novel recently, which isn’t something I’ve done a lot of in my life.
Take better care of me physically. What this means is having regular health check-ups, including any necessary specialty tests and taking preventative health measures. That’s just the start though. Today, I began a workout routine which I fully plan on making a regular part of my daily/weekly routine. I found Mackenzie Smith here, and got connected to her app and community of others with similar goals.
What did I believe before this self-transformation journey began?
I pretty much believed that doing for others would provide rewarding benefits that would in turn, help me to become a better version of myself. While this can come from doing for others, so can burnout when you completely neglect looking out for yourself…which I’ve never been good at. Therefore, I have recently not only made the decision to take steps to focus on me, I’m actually (gradually) taking action.
After speaking with various other neutral people in my life (for example, my counselor) I decided to take things slow, one change a time, and build that way. So, last month, I started reading and writing more. Today, I began the physical journey. What’s next? TBD, but it will be something that adds value to my life.
The Ultimate Goal?
When it comes down to it, I’ll never STOP wanting to do things to help others and be involved in a group that is centered around helping others. However, if I’m putting myself first consistently, I’ll ultimately be better equipped to do things for others…at my choosing, of course.
Beautiful piece. I deeply resonate with the idea that understanding ourselves first makes it easier to truly understand others.
I didn’t know myself well for a long time either, and that made connection hard. I’m still learning, still getting to know myself—and it’s nice to meet a fellow traveler on that path.
This is your journey to take care of you :)