Seeking My Motivation
Trying to make sense of...everything
21 plus years as a parent. In that time, I’ve spent countless hours contemplating the world I’m raising my kids in, and how to keep them safe and feeling protected. Being a parent is, as some of you know, enough of a challenge in itself. Then you start to factor in everything they will face either personally or as a small part of a society where everything and everyone seems to be against them…against you.
I’m terrified, and have been ever since day one of parenthood. I never forget sitting at a traffic light on December 31st, 2003, at night, staring at the night sky, having just watched my son being born into this world. I remember thinking how much different my own personal world was in that moment, and for the rest of my life.
Seven years, and three and a half months later, on March 17, 2011, my now 14 year old daughter was born. At that time, I was newly unemployed, and finishing up my bachelor’s degree. This was a challenge in and of itself, but I persevered, somehow.
There are challenges in this life for me, and I knew there would be for them as well. There are things going on in the world that I have no control over, and how would I, how DO I protect them from an out of control world where there’s such evil and negativity coming at them from every angle?
My Motivation
I know THEY are supposed to be my motivation for living every single day, no matter what’s going on in this messed up, yet still beautiful world we live in. But, given how exhausting it is, if I’m being completely honest, I still struggle mightily with this. It’s not easy. And yes, no one said it would be, but damnit, some days, I am NOT motivated (enough).
When that happens, I find myself shutting down. I know it’s not what they need to see me do, but I am still human. I suffer from my own mental health issues, so just getting out of bed some mornings, I have no motivation to do so.
BUT, I have to eventually power through, and remember that my promise to them, spoken or unspoken, is to keep fighting for them, no matter their age, for as long as I possibly can.
What is your motivation?
The bottom line is, whether you’re a parent or not, we all need to have something or someone that motivates us. What is yours?
Being a parent is so hard. You can’t protect them from everything and they get hurt no matter how hard you try. It’s beautiful to watch them grow though!